come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
