We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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