i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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