We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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