We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
