I just made out with a guy for $7.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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