is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
