it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize