So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
