Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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