I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
