Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
