im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
