I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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