I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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