Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
