I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
