I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
whose ass print is on the piano?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
