I wanna passion pit in your ass
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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