My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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