You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
