Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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