Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
