I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
