When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
