her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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