I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
