I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
this hospital has no fireball
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
