Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
