Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
