Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
