Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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