If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
