A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
