New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
