My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need moral support for this bender
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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