Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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