yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
