dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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