Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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