It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize