there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize