walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
