Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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