So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
