We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
