You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
