guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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