i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize