How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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