The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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