she looked like the before picture.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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