i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
