OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
