cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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