yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
