My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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