Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
someone owes me an orgasm
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
